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Submitted on
November 1, 2012
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daddy says, you're not old enough to be in love
i say, you're not young enough to remember
Please do not use without my permission.
Comments are welcome and greatly appreciated. Any feedback is great to hear. What can I do better?
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:iconzerosilver:
zerosilver Featured By Owner Nov 1, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
I'm not sure what you can do better, but I just wanted to tell you I really like this. It's brief, but there's so much here. You've got a clear meaning, and it's something that people don't always think about. I like the conversational aspect of it, and how something like this can really create a scene in my head. Not to mention, your title works in really nicely. It stood out to me when I just happened to scan over it.
I'm sorry I can't offer any critique, I just thought this was awesome!
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:iconvioletense:
violetense Featured By Owner Nov 11, 2012  Student Writer
What do you mean, you can't offer any critique? That's exactly what this was. And I appreciate it so much :)
Thanks for the feedback! And I'm glad you liked it :D
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:iconzerosilver:
zerosilver Featured By Owner Nov 11, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Oh, haha, I meant I can't offer anything that you should improve. But I'm glad what I said meant something to you, you're very welcome. :3
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:iconsikizu:
Sikizu Featured By Owner Nov 1, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Sorry, that's just the first thing that popped into my head... but this does makes you think.
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:iconsikizu:
Sikizu Featured By Owner Nov 1, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
(Would you like some aloe vera for that burn?)
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:iconvioletense:
violetense Featured By Owner Nov 1, 2012  Student Writer
Have I told you lately how much I love you
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:iconsikizu:
Sikizu Featured By Owner Nov 2, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
You could mention it a bit more now and then. ;)
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