[in some vague fashion]
she was aware of the i m p e n d i n g blow
but time seemed irrelevant [at the moment]:
struck by a strange--elegance?--
as his palm descended [with all the grace
of a tree felled by lightning];
the m.e.a.s.u.r.e.d, deliberate fall,
almost majestic in its resignation--
c u l m i n a t i n g with
a CRACK of thunder and
a bolt of pain.
I really like the imagery in it! Keep up the good work.
Wow. I absolutely love this. You're really nailing it here - and the formatting just makes it magnificent.
I love your style! And as for improvement, in this particular poem, there's nothing I can see! Straight to my collections
I like your play with caps and spaces and such.