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Literature by Copperfrost

Literature by Hanachi-Shitsukki


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Submitted on
September 13, 2012
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Sta.sh Writer
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522
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16
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she tells me that they stole her words
marked them in
red and wrung them out dry
leaving her shockingly [bare]

so she took up her -sharpest- pen
and she c a r v e d out her words
[close to her heart they'll be safe]

Please do not use without my permission.
Comments are welcome and greatly appreciated. Any feedback is great to hear. What can I do better?

EDIT: I've been featured here: [link] Thank you so much!! :heart:
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:iconrouge-fox:
Rouge-Fox Featured By Owner Feb 23, 2014  Student Writer
Quite a tense piece, the layout shows a sense of urgency and it's structured to show perhaps personal thought
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:icondirewolfwere:
DireWolfwere Featured By Owner May 26, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
I really how you used so many different way to distinguish certain words and make them really pop.
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:iconsemety:
Semety Featured By Owner Jan 31, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I like how the words fit in my head
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:iconms-laika:
ms-laika Featured By Owner Jan 22, 2013   Traditional Artist
wow, this sounds very emotional. I like how you wrote some of the words in a d i f f e r e n t way to give them more power.
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:iconjoannamoory:
JoannaMoory Featured By Owner Dec 28, 2012
I like how this brings images to my mind and how you have used different ways of writing to emphasize certain words. :+fav:
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:iconannaraine:
AnnaRaine Featured By Owner Oct 23, 2012  Student Photographer
i like the way you wrote it, sounds well planned out, very good
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:iconvioletense:
violetense Featured By Owner Nov 12, 2012  Student Writer
Gracias.
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:iconannaraine:
AnnaRaine Featured By Owner Nov 15, 2012  Student Photographer
de nada
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:iconwinterkate:
winterkate Featured By Owner Oct 2, 2012  Student Writer
Ooh. I love the way you're playing with formatting here. Very effective...but almost too much so.

Take out all the formatting and look at the poem again. What do you think of the content without the dressing? While I think that it's still a brilliant poem, I think that you could have done a lot more with this concept.
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:iconvioletense:
violetense Featured By Owner Nov 12, 2012  Student Writer
Gracias, and I will definitely take a closer look at that. Thanks for the suggestion :)
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:iconwinterkate:
winterkate Featured By Owner Nov 12, 2012  Student Writer
You're so very welcome!
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:iconkymira12:
Kymira12 Featured By Owner Sep 14, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
If the </sharp> wasn't there then it'd look great and still make sense. I love how you managed to tell an emotional tale with only six lines and not many people can actually do that and pull it off as well. The flow of your poem was perfect and just flew off the tongue perfectly. I loved it!
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:iconvioletense:
violetense Featured By Owner Sep 15, 2012  Student Writer
Muchas gracias. And the </sharp> was an html error, I fixed it now :)
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:iconkymira12:
Kymira12 Featured By Owner Sep 15, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Oh, I know :) I was just saying that if you just left <sharp> then it would still work
Reply
:iconvioletense:
violetense Featured By Owner Sep 15, 2012  Student Writer
That was my original intent, but it apparently makes the formatting go all screwy so no dice
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:iconvioletense:
violetense Featured By Owner Sep 13, 2012  Student Writer
HTML is not working for me. I had 'red' colored as such but it is not showing up outside of StashWriter. Anyone know HTML better than I do?
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