[x]

Catch me if you canI’m the anorexic at the local gym whom everybody watches but nobody looks at.
I’m the bulimic at school whom everybody pretends not to know about.
I’m the girl in your gym class with too many scars to be telling the truth.
I’m the kid with her head down in the library who is always “fine.”
I’m the boy who 'fell down the stairs'...again.
I’m the child who doesn't show up for school lunch because it's too expensive.
I’m the teenager living a double life in front of your very eyes.
Catch me if you can.

InvocationSpeak through me, Muse, and sing me the tale
Of that girl unskilled in the ways of the world--
The intrepid wanderer,
Seeking truth for years on end,
Oblivious to the dynamics around her
As others talk with their eyes and dance with their words.
Many the nights she's lain awake,
Living the hurts of her friends, powerless to help.
Trying to save the world
When she can't even save herself.
She wrote dark storms of words
And ascertained the deceptive nature of journals.
She lied to others and she lied to herself.
She learned that sharp words leave scars,
Struggling each day to open her eyes
And walk toward the light;
Yet despite her best intentions, sometimes she strayed:
But hands were there to guide her back to the path,
And hearts were there to share her pain.
Growing and changing and coming to see
That she didn't have to understand humanity to be human--
She doesn't have to earn love to be loved,
And angels can hide in the oddest of places.
Of these trials and tribulatio

Losing steamI am fifteen
but my body and
mutinous mind
are not mine.
I have scars on my arms
and memories of dark beauty--
bitter beads of blood
seeping shadows.
slide the knife
unzip my skin
and step outside--
who would I be
and how would I look?
perhaps I'm hollow?
what if--
underneath all this--
I'm not actually real?
maybe I was never here
just a dream
or was it a nightmare?
everybody wants me to
act my age
but I'm fifteen
so God only knows what that means.
not a child
not so innocent
not an adult
still too young.
I have to learn to talk to adults
and make phone calls to strangers
and manage my money
and drive a car.
I have to take care of the twins
teach them and protect them
and still be their friend.
I have to grow up soon
but i don't know if I'm ready...

Disengage[in some vague fashion]
she was aware of the i m p e n d i n g blow
but time seemed irrelevant [at the moment]:
struck by a strange--elegance?--
as his palm descended [with all the grace
of a tree felled by lightning];
the m.e.a.s.u.r.e.d, deliberate fall,
almost majestic in its resignation--
c u l m i n a t i n g with
a CRACK of thunder and
a bolt of pain.

Mimicrymildewed [ghosts]
haunt the c.r.a.c.k.s in the w        do not
                           a        mistake
                           l        their voices
                           l        for
                           s

BipolarYour gentle gaze like razor blades
Both cut me to the core
The shadows hide the lines you've crossed
Yet still I'm craving more
You're never who you seem to be
I don't know who you are
One moment you're the one I know
The next so very far
This dream in which we used to live
Uncertain now and bleak
Breathtaking as the cloudbreak is
Still havoc storms do wreak
My wild nightmare never ends
I cannot seem to wake
I'm desperate to find escape
Before I finally break
It's not you it's me I say
As hollow as it rings
No longer can I weather this
High time to test my wings
The words fall like an icy rain
Chilling, sharp, but true
Yet though I try to end it here
I'm still falling for you

lukewarmshe had the kind of voice
that seemed to be stuck
in the hour of four o'clock
in the morning - soft
and tired and luring,
mumbling her way through
subways and tunnel lights
all pale yellow with noise.

there was tea and long baths
and longer absences,
hiccups of breath
the best
she could do.
long springs and
longer falls,
one equinox to the next
and still the bad
was never that bad
and the good
was never that
good,
and she continues to hum
the birds continue to sing
the apples continue to
grow and
sour and
fall,

and bury themselves
again.

ConstraintsSo much to say, so little--

Wake-up callwhen you're drowning in an ocean of sad thoughts,
you don't trip out onto the beach:
sooner or later, the waves will sweep you off your feet
and you will be unprepared
when the waters close over your head.
instead, you take a deep breath
and say your prayers
and you dive in.
the quickest way to learn to swim
is to have no other choice.

Candori am not the person you think
and you will realize that all too soon.
i am not what people have built me up to be
and i am destroying myself in trying to measure up.
i am not interesting.
if i were a puzzle, all of my pieces
would be careworn with age and wear
colors dull and muted--
a picture prosaically familiar;
there is nothing pretty to look at here.
i am not beautiful. i am not the kind of person
that they write about,
stories and poems that make you cry.
i am not strange enough to be special,
but i am not normal enough to fit in.
i am not fragile enough to engender support,
but i am not strong enough to help myself
let alone those who are foolish enough to rely on me.
i am not a delicate collectible
that people wish to adopt
and call my problems their own.
i am a dusty cliché
that has seen better days.
let me be clear:
i am none of these things.
i am not.

Lucidall this time she's seemed so near
her angel face you hold so dear
she'll find you in that darkest time
her eyes will speak sans reason, rhyme
in time you will remember things
of birds and bones and broken wings
of deadly secrets, shattered dreams
things left unsaid and silent screams
with open heart and open mind
stand in the rain and you will find
that healing lies in these things true
and to remember changes you

a hospital bird with soot in her lungsshe slept through a car crash
that almost killed her,
through whitewhite walls
and dreams
where her lover dies
nobody thought she'd make it
but she woke up a few months later
with flowers in her hair
and ash in her airway
trying to remember how to start all over
but forgetting to remember how to live.
fall slipped from her open eyes
and winter crawled in for a long hibernation
of not-quite-cold-enough-for-snow
to her the clouds looked sick
and pale like they might
let everything inside them out,
but she opened up wide instead,
spilling blood where there was none to be spilled.
her heart slipped down the street
and with unsteady hands
she stitched in a bird and cut off its wings.

Sea
Her love was bone white,
unblemished and
stunning

[ but never like diamonds. ]

Truth then became water to
pruning fingers and splitting lips,
while she drowned
in the mouth
of a liar like me.

NightmarePlot twist: you can't wake up.

Browse More Like This

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More from ~violetense

thoughts of thornsyou were sent to me--
but as blessing, or lesson?
only time will tell.

Wake-up callwhen you're drowning in an ocean of sad thoughts,
you don't trip out onto the beach:
sooner or later, the waves will sweep you off your feet
and you will be unprepared
when the waters close over your head.
instead, you take a deep breath
and say your prayers
and you dive in.
the quickest way to learn to swim
is to have no other choice.

Lesson learnedShe fell first, and scraped herself up on impact.
By the time you were ready to let to and trust that she would catch you,
she was no longer there.
She picked herself up, dusted herself off, and moved the fuck on,
because she's stronger than you.
And you were left holding the pieces when you hit the ground.

ElogioHas sangrado demasiados poemas de venas.

Por errorPudimos la fe en cielos falsos.

december 2010i am not hungry. i am not hungry.        no breakfast. no lunch. no snack. no dinner. zero zero zero
i am not hungry. i am not hungry.        food is bad. i don't need to eat. i don't need to eat. i don't
i am not hungry. i am not hungry.        need to eat. i don't need to eat. i don't need to eat. i don't
i am not hungry. i am not hungry.        need to eat. i don't need to eat. i don't need to eat. i don't
i am not hungry. i am not hungry.        need to eat. i don't need to eat. i don't need to eat. i don't.
i am not hungry. i am not hungry. must not eat. will not eat. cannot eat. do not eat.
resolution for today: i will not eat.

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Submitted: September 13, 2012
Submitted with: Sta.sh Writer

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Safe

by ~violetense, Sep 13, 2012, 5:25:26 PM
Literature / Poetry / Emotional / Free Verse

_{she tells me that they stole her words
marked them in red and wrung them out dry
leaving her shockingly [bare]

so she took up her -sharpest- pen
and she c a r v e d out her words
[close to her heart they'll be safe]}

Safeby ~violetense

Literature / Poetry / Emotional / Free Verse

©2012-2013 ~violetense

Please do not use without my permission.
Comments are welcome and greatly appreciated. Any feedback is great to hear. What can I do better?

EDIT: I've been featured here: [link] Thank you so much!!

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*DireWolfwere May 26, 2013 Hobbyist General Artist

I really how you used so many different way to distinguish certain words and make them really pop.

Reply

~Semety Jan 31, 2013 Hobbyist Writer

I like how the words fit in my head

Reply

=ms-laika Jan 22, 2013 Traditional Artist

wow, this sounds very emotional. I like how you wrote some of the words in a d i f f e r e n t way to give them more power.

Reply

Mood: Optimism

*JoannaMoory Dec 28, 2012

I like how this brings images to my mind and how you have used different ways of writing to emphasize certain words.

Reply

~AnnaRaine Oct 23, 2012 Student Photographer

i like the way you wrote it, sounds well planned out, very good

Reply

~violetense Nov 12, 2012 Student Writer

Gracias.

Reply

~AnnaRaine Nov 15, 2012 Student Photographer

de nada

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~winterkate Oct 2, 2012 Student Writer

Ooh. I love the way you're playing with formatting here. Very effective...but almost too much so.

Take out all the formatting and look at the poem again. What do you think of the content without the dressing? While I think that it's still a brilliant poem, I think that you could have done a lot more with this concept.

Reply

~violetense Nov 12, 2012 Student Writer

Gracias, and I will definitely take a closer look at that. Thanks for the suggestion

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~winterkate Nov 12, 2012 Student Writer

You're so very welcome!

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