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Submitted on
May 10, 2012
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01. Thou shalt not publicly compare thy friend's boyfriend to a shaggy dog.
02. Thou shalt not covet thy ex.
03. Thou shalt not scar thy friends.
04. Thou shalt not pilfer thy neighbor's stash of caffeine and/or sugar.
05. Thou shalt not hoard cough drops.
06. Thou shalt not vandalize, forcibly close, nor invade the privacy of thy neighbor's locker.
07. Thou shalt not enclose thyself, nor any other person, in a locker.
08. Thou shalt not hack thy neighbor's computer account.
09. Thou shalt not weigh less than thy backpack.
10. Thou shalt not sing theme songs of or relating to Disney.
11. Thou shalt not sing holiday carols in the classroom.
12. Thou shalt not sing a solo in the computer lab to the accompaniment of thy iPod.
13. Thou shalt not engage in a shoving match between back-to-back monitors in the aforementioned computer lab.
14. Thou shalt not pour Kool-Aid into any dish, including omelets, in the kitchen lab.
15. Thou shalt not feed duly contaminated dishes, including omelets, to any other person without full disclosure and subject's consent.
16. Thou shalt not throw a pan of water into thy neighbor's face in the kitchen lab.
17. Thou shalt not whip any other person with a 'rat-tail' inh the kitchen lab.
18. Thou shalt not conceal thyself behind the bleachers when instructed to run laps.
19. Thou shalt refrain from disrobing until fully within appropriate locker room.
20. Thou shalt not engage in any form of Truth or Dare within hearing range of thy guidance counselor.
21. Thou shalt not conceal thy phone within thy brasserie during school hours.
22. Thou shalt not reveal the source of the legendary Disembodied Phone Ring in any class.
23. Thou shalt not act out in the hallways with sole intent to provide the camera monitors with a source of amusement.
24. Thou shalt not tackle thy teacher.
25. Thou shalt not duel with pencils.
26. Thou shalt not embed thy pencil in a ceiling tile.
27. Thou shalt not anger the Heinzelmänchen lest thy pencils disappear altogether.
28. Thou shalt not engage in conspiracy against thy fellow classmate.
29. Thou shalt not ambush thy peers, position as hired gargoyle notwithstanding.
30. Thou shalt not plant any ticking device and/or tape recorder in the elevator.
31. Thou shalt refrain from commenting on thy teachers' taste in clothing, music, and the like.
32. Thou shalt not dance in a manner posing a risk of injury to thyself or to others in the event that music is broadcast over the public address system.
33. Thou shalt not taste of the hydrochloric acid of the science lab.
34. Thou shalt not 'accidentally' dust thy neighbor with charcoal in the science lab.
35. Thou shalt not set fire to any combustible material in the science lab, including but not limited to sugar, denim, Cheetos, and/or human hair.
36. Thou shalt not engage in soap battles in the restrooms.
37. Thou shalt not stalk the hallways with a finger gun.
38. Thou shalt not hack administrative firewalls.
39. Thou shalt not utilize Photo Booth to spy on thy neighbors in the Macintosh computer lab.
40. Thou shalt not force-feed thy friends.
41. Thou shalt not touch thy food with thy hands. (Thou art given thy Spork for a divine purpose.)
42. Thou shalt not strike the wall in anger.
43. Thou shalt not swab administrative officials with intent to culture colonies of bacterial growth.
44. Thou shalt not scare the seventh graders.
45. Thou shalt not issue directions to said sevies involving the use of Upstairs Hallway Z.
46. Thou shalt not hijack the public address system.
47. Thou shalt not take from the Lost and Found that which is not rightfully thine.
48. Thou shalt not obscure contraband literary material within the pages of a textbook.
49. Thou shalt not complete thy homework within the duration of the class period preceding its deadline.
50. Thou shalt not falsify excuses.
51. Thou shalt not encourage thy friends' stalkers.
52. Thou shalt not suffer thy friends the agony of being seated adjacent to aforementioned stalkers.
53. Thou shalt not expose thy friend's crush to the harsh elements of the gossip storm.
54. Thou shalt know when to keep thy trap shut, lest others shut it for thee.
55. Thou shalt refrain from speaking the Forbidden Names.
56. Thou shalt not chew foreign matter of any sort in class, including thy tongue. (Chewing gum is, of course, the exception to the rule.)
57. Thou shalt not utilize the art materials to construct projects unfit for administrative examination.
58. Thou shalt be kind to thy locker, for thy locker may well develop a taste for thy books.
59. Thou shalt not wander the halls without thy agenda book.
60. Thou shalt not delay thy friends beyond the tardy bell, for karma is stealthy and shall strike thee dead.
61. Thou shalt not wait until midnight to compose thy final paper, or thou wilt be sorely disappointed with thy grade.
62. Thou shalt not consume powdered donuts whilst donning dark apparel.
63. Thou shalt not attempt an exposé about thy fellow classmate. (Thy peers will heed you not.)
64. Thou shalt not deface school property with crayons.
65. Thou shalt not intercept written correspondence between thy peers.
66. Thou shalt not tattle on thy student teacher whence he is engaged in his mobile device in lieu of grading thy assessments.
67. Thou shalt not offset classroom clocks with the intent of early dismissal.
68. Thou shalt not presume thyself to be 'mature' without due consideration of the circumstances by which thy came across these commandments.
69. Thou shalt not show this list to a teacher.
I am tagging :iconmoonlightwriter13:, :iconamphienanti:, :iconpussinboots2612:, :iconserenity96:, :iconsikizu:, and :iconfurythewinged: in this. And to head off the inevitable questions, yes, all but two of these are based on factual incidences...and it's not the two you might think. (Have fun with that.)

Please do not use without my permission.
Comments are welcome and greatly appreciated. Any feedback is great to hear. What can I do better?
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:iconwinter33:
winter33 Featured By Owner Oct 3, 2012  Student Traditional Artist
This is hilairious!!!!!!!!! I am tempted to print multiple coppies of this and spread them throughout thy school. This is so making my favourites :D
Reply
:iconvioletense:
violetense Featured By Owner Nov 12, 2012  Student Writer
Go for it, as long as you put credit :)
Reply
:iconwinter33:
winter33 Featured By Owner Nov 12, 2012  Student Traditional Artist
Thanks, I will deffinantly put the credit on it. :)
Reply
:iconvioletense:
violetense Featured By Owner Nov 13, 2012  Student Writer
Let me know how it's received :D
Reply
:iconwinter33:
winter33 Featured By Owner Nov 13, 2012  Student Traditional Artist
I will :)
Reply
:iconvioletense:
violetense Featured By Owner Jul 18, 2012  Student Writer
High school edition
You know you have some...
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:iconvioletense:
violetense Featured By Owner Jul 18, 2012  Student Writer
Thou shalt not film any sort of dancing, esp. without subjects' full knowledge.
Reply
:iconl0ne-w0lf:
L0NE-W0lf Featured By Owner Aug 11, 2012
How do you come up with all of these? :lol:
Reply
:iconvioletense:
violetense Featured By Owner Aug 11, 2012  Student Writer
Experience. Never a dull moment. :D
Reply
:iconl0ne-w0lf:
L0NE-W0lf Featured By Owner Aug 13, 2012
Nice. =P
Reply
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